Goin Nowhere

Drivin' down the highway
Contraflow 'round Manchester
So what is new
Artic in front of me
Artic at the rear
Breathin' lead and diesel
Got monoxide nausea

Goin' nowhere
Not very fast
Goin; nowhere
Just how long is this jam
Gonna last

Drivin' up the highway
M1 Friday night
Endless streams of traffic are
Stretching out of sight
Four hours out of London
Two more to Watford Gap
Right now I'm dyin'
For a coffee and a crap

Goin' nowhere
Not very fast
Goin' nowhere
Just how long is this song gonna last

Drivin' down the highway
On a clear and moonlit night
South from Scotland over Shap
Only one more car in sight
He's comin' up behind me
A blue light on my tail
Doin' over ninety
Striaght to jail

Goin' nowhere
Lonely night in a cell
Goin' nowhere
Travellin' sure is hell

Goin' on the railway
Whitesaver return
Squashed in caoched like sardines
Wanna see those walkmans burn
Waiting at the station
For a train to meet my date
"B.R. regrets to announce
Your train is three hours late"

Goin' nowhere
Oh what shall I do
Goin' nowhere
My train is stuck on
Frozen points at Crewe

Standin' at the bus stop
For a number 48
I'm in the rain for half an hour
Wondr'rin' why I'm always late
See the bus come round the corner
Say it's goin' pretty fast
Stick my arm out in the air
As the soddin' bus drives past

Goin' nowhere
Oh what shall I do
Goin' nowhere
Public transport's given me the 'flu

Flyin' out of Luton
On a Bank Holiday
Off on our summer vacation
To sunny Marbeille
Get there three hours early
To queue for the best seats
But the travel firm's gone bankrupt
And the refund will take weeks

Goin' nowhere
Stay home and watch T.V.
Goin' nowhere
Oh why do these things always
happen to me?